No Sadness in your child's Death?!

So I'm almost done with my book! Tony and Brenda's child, John, dies in some sort of freak accident on his horse. John falls down and just...dies. So when Tony finds out, Brenda is in London in "school". The weirdest thing is that they don't even seem so sad. Like I had said before, Waugh does not include emotions often in the story. He leaves his readers to assume from the content. While I was reading it, I felt like they weren't really sad.

I feel as if by hearing the death of his child, Tony is just acting as if the news was just some ordinary mundane news of the weather. All he can really think of is telling Brenda and he complains that Brenda is a lot better at keeping everyone at bay. "I wish Brenda had been here. She's so good with everyone. I get in a muddle." [145]

I sense some irony in the time when Brenda will know. I feel like instead of being hurt as Tony says Brenda will be, Brenda will be so happy for some reason. I feel like the only reason why Brenda was even still with Tony was because of John and because of the social and class he gave her. But if John was dead, Brenda would have no real reason to stay right? Tony says: "It's going to be so much worse for Brenda. You see she's got nothing else, much, except John. I've got her, and I love the house... but with Brenda John always came first... naturally... And then you know she's seen so little of John lately. She's been in London such a lot. I'm afraid that's going to hurt her."
"You can't ever tell what's going to hurt people."
"But, you see, I know Brenda so well."[149]
All those ... makes it seem like it's all just an afterthought. The "John always came first...naturally" seems like he's saying this because it's the feminine thing to do as a mother right? It draws on the inference that if you were to have children, your children comes first. And his last statement of knowing Brenda so well is so ironic! Because I'm sure if he had known her so well, he would know that she's not doing what she says she's doig in London, at least that's what I think.